Wednesday, 9 June 2010

Late night ravings of a mentalist Pt II

After reading through my previous post a couple of times and the tone of some of the others, I'm going to give the flip side of things tonight!
Living with Kidney Failure is a challenge there's no doubt about it. Some days it takes all my effort just to put on a brave face and err... face the day ahead, trying not to show how I actually feel.

But overall? When I look back over my life and take a long hard look at myself I realise that there were times - even years that went by where I was foolish, selfish and narrow minded. Not able to see beyond my own wants and needs. And I hurt a lot of people along the way.
My kidney failure changed all that. I slowly but surely began to see things from a different point of view.
I've seen much worse off people than me, I've seen much braver people than me, I've seen people giving up tremendous things for the ones they love - without question or want of recourse.

And been well and truly humbled and put in my place.

I like to think that although it is a terrible thing to happen to someone, I wouldn't be the person I am today without my kidney failure and all that has transpired along the way.

And that is: Someone that I like.

It's no longer all about me and what I want, although I still have hopes and aspirations (I at last realise no-one resents me for those), life for me now is more about how I can get both the most out of life and also help those whom I care about.

I no longer cast my thoughts inward (so much) anymore, but rather spend a whole lot more time and energy trying to see other people's points of view and trying to help solve their problems. And I'm enjoying it.

I'm not a particularly religious person, but I do sometimes get the distinct feeling that someone is watching over me - and that I occasionally I have been brought to Earth with a bump - with a good few lessons learnt along the way.

So overall I remain upbeat and positive with my occasional weak moment (I think we're all entitled to those...) and will confront the future with my head held high - although occasionally with gritted teeth....!

Anyway enough rambling here's another photo from Blakeney:

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